Guest Post: Erin Bass from Deep South Magazine shares her resolutions & learns the power of “no”

Erin Bass. Southern Lit. Supporter of blogs. Amazing writer. Smart and savvy. Erin’s mind is always ticking away- and her features on Deep South Magazine are incredible. She has her finger on the pulse of Southern Lit.

A tweet from Erin while I was at my first Sweet Potato Queen weekend back in 2011 started our friendship- and it has grown beyond just a Twitter friendship. I trust Erin with my thoughts about blogging and books and more.

Erin Bass of Deep South Magazine talks about saying “no”

“Saying No in 2014”

I’ve been thinking a lot this past year about resolutions and changes I’d like to make in 2014. I know, why wait until the end of the year to try and do better when I could have been making changes all along? Because some of us (me) need that extra push and the excuse of a holiday to get motivated. As I get older, I find it helps to spend time reflecting on the past year and setting goals for things I want to accomplish in the future. Resolutions in my thirties have become about getting things done (but not just for the sake of crossing them off a list), having no regrets and living life to the fullest.

Since an online magazine doesn’t run itself, work is always a priority. I’m thankful that my work is something I enjoy, but I’m always trying to improve. In 2014, I want to be more focused on what I’d like to accomplish for Deep South. It’s easy to get sidetracked by the vast amount of emails, story pitches and ideas we receive. Again, I’m thankful that readers are enthusiastic enough to send an email and make suggestions for stories, but we can’t accept all of them. I need to really consider what fits with our mission and what will help us grow in the coming year.

Accomplishing this and sticking with it will take some forethought and planning, something I’m spending the first week of January doing. As most Southerners know — especially Southern women — it’s hard to say “no.” We are people pleasers and were raised to be polite and agreeable. The word “no” isn’t really in our vocabulary, and it’s difficult for me to risk disappointing someone by saying it. Heck, it was difficult just to turn on my “out of office” the week of New Year’s, but I needed some time to regroup.

What I’ve been conscious of this past year is that by saying “yes” all the time, I’ve become overcommitted and not able to enjoy anything. While doing one of the many things I’ve said yes to, I’m thinking about my next commitment and how many tasks are still left undone. I’m not present in the moment, and I’m resentful toward the person I’ve said yes to. The only person to blame for this is myself.

So, in 2014 — as gracefully and politely as possible — I will be saying no a lot more. No, I can’t bring a dish to yet another dinner or even attend said dinner. No, I won’t be able to attend that charity function, luncheon or networking event. Instead, I’m going to spend time doing things that are meaningful to me and actually enjoy them while I’m doing them.

I’ll take time to finish that short story I started at the beginning of last year and maybe even write another one. I’ll enjoy lunch with an old friend and not be thinking about getting to my next commitment. I’ll crack open that book that just arrived in the mail and take an hour to curl up and read on the couch without the distraction of an email or text. If I do attend that dinner, it will be because I want to and I’ll enjoy the company while I’m there.

It’s hard to not feel selfish about this resolution, but I’ve come to realize that saying no is about extending some of that “yes” to ourselves. I realize that I don’t need to tell myself yes every time I want another piece of chocolate or glass of wine, but I do need to give myself permission to slow down and put work aside sometimes. Often, like in the case of a good book or developing a friendship with someone I’ve interviewed or met through Twitter, work and pleasure intermingle. It’s in these moments that I truly enjoy my life and work.

Hopefully saying no to those empty obligations and yes to those moments that really enrich my life will make 2014 an even better year for myself and Deep South.

If you don’t read Deep South Magazine– check it out!

Audio Books- Yay or Nay?

Oh my.. I have a bit of a confession. A small secret. A thing that I rarely tell anyone.

I really don’t care for audio books.

Wait.. Maybe I should rephrase… I have not cared for the audio books I’ve tried in the past. The characters do not sound right. I can’t get involved in the story, sucked in like normal. I feel like a fish out of water, like a college party night without alcohol. I feel yuck.

Here’s the thing: When I read a book- the character has a voice, the voice that I give them in my head. And, no disrespect to audio books- but the voice I give the character sounds better than the audio version. Now granted, there are times that I may not know what the characters are supposed to sound like- but I prefer the voice I give them.

But I keep reading tweets and reviews from people talking about audio books & I have to say that I’m intrigued at times. Not enough to pay the full price for the audio. Not enough to get an Audible subscription. But…. somewhat. And I feel that sometimes I’m missing out.

Enter Gone Girl. 2012, I bought Gone Girl on Kindle (and then 1 day bought it on sale in hardcover because I freaking loved that book). Buying it on Kindle gave me a much lower price for the Audible version. Still I resisted. I mean how many ways can you own Gone Girl (even though it was a fan-freaking-tastic book)? I finally gave in a few weeks ago. I bought the audible version for 4.99. And I’m enjoying the heck out of it. Do I love it because I already love the book? Maybe. Do I love it because I love the voice of Amy- a character I was never quite sure I was giving an adequate voice to? Perhaps. Is the audio just that good? Possible.

Now am I about to jump on the audio bandwagon? Not quite yet. One time does not make a fan for life. But, I am more intrigued. And open to giving them another fair shake.

So tell me- are you an audio fan or not? And if you are- what are some of the “must try” books in your opinion?

Giveaway: The Swiss Affair by Emyliah Hall

Photo Credit: Harlequin

Thanks to Harlequin Books, Traveling With T has another giveaway! Ya’ll know how I LOVE giveaways- and I’m so excited to be able to offer you, the readers of Traveling With T, another book giveaway!

The details: Just check the Rafflecopter link at bottom of page for your options to entry and then cross your fingers! The giveaway is open to only US/Canada folks (sorry!) The book will be released Jan 28th (so the giveaway starts a few days early on Jan 18th and ends Jan 31st.)

Summary from The Swiss Affair by Emyliah Hall:

For Hadley Dunn, life has been predictable and uneventful. But that is before she spends her second year of college abroad in Lausanne, a glamorous Swiss city on the shores of Lake Geneva. Lausanne is imbued with the boundless sense of freedom Hadley has been seeking, and it is here she meets Kristina, a beautiful but mysterious Danish girl. The two bond quickly, but as the first snows of winter arrive, tragedy strikes.

Driven by guilt and haunted by suspicion, Hadley resolves to find the truth about what really happened that night, and so begins a search that will consume her, the city she loves, and the lives of two very different men. Set against the backdrop of a uniquely captivating city, The Swiss Affair is an evocative portrayal of a journey of discovery and a compelling exploration of how our connections—with people, with places—make us who we are.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Guest Post: Melinda McGuire talks about New Year Resolutions & the power of “yes”

Melinda McGuire is a Southern Lit loving and writer with a big heart person! Melinda and I began tweeting some because we saw each other via Deep South Mag- and then Melinda let me guest post a couple of times on her blog! Reading her blog posts made me know that I wanted her to write a guest post about her resolutions- and she did. And it’s beautiful.

Melinda McGuire and the power of “yes”

2014 and Learning the Power of Yes

Christmas Day has passed. All of our boxes are packed in the attic – better organized this year, thankfully, since I was still unpacking random ornaments and wrapping paper on Christmas Eve from these mysterious boxes and bags I had hidden from myself. I guess I wanted to give myself a challenging game – hide and seek the Christmas Decorations. I lost, so well done my evil twin, well done.

I have double motivation for New Year’s Resolutions. One – another year is coming, a fresh start, a clean slate, the opportunity to make changes. Two – New Year’s Day is my birthday, another year older, an opportunity to reflect on where I am in my journey of life.

I have some of the usual resolutions on my list: lose weight, get in better shape, survive running a Mud Run and Color Run with my oldest child and my husband, do a better job of managing my money, improve my organization habits.

I also have a resolution that may not be on everyone’s list: learning when to say “yes” and why.

Saying “yes” –to more time with my family, more time “unplugged,” more time reading for pleasure, more time resting, more time playing, more time working on the IMPORTANT, more time reading and studying the Bible, more time in prayer, more time seeking ways to use the gifts that I have been given to bless others. “Yes” to strengthening and building my spiritual life, my family life, my professional life.

Saying “yes” – to initiating experiences that I want, to seeking out the important in my life, to setting boundaries, to giving myself permission to fail, to giving myself permission to succeed!

Yes to gratitude, yes to peace, yes to rest, yes to perseverance, yes to optimism, yes to hope, yes to good coffee.

Yes to warm blankets and old movies, yes to afternoons in the sunshine, yes to late night summer barbeques, yes to family traditions, yes to days on the lake, yes to road trips, yes to planning for spontaneity!

Yes to hugs, yes to kisses, yes to towels hot out of the dryer, yes to new socks, yes to beautiful bookmarks, yes to notebook after notebook of writing and business information, yes to the free flow of ideas.

Yes to kicking the negative soundtrack out of my head permanently.

Yes to knowing who I am and being that person with grace, compassion, and joy.

So, here’s to 2014 and to learning the power of “yes.”

If you enjoyed reading Melinda’s guest post- visit her blog!

Guest Post: Rebecca from Love At First Book talks about her New Year Resolutions

Hey guys, I’m Rebecca from Love at First Book, and today I am going to share with you some of my 2014 Resolutions. I divided them up into bookish and bloggy, since it just seems to work well that way!

Bookish Resolutions:

Read 150+ books again this year
Keep making dents in my Classics Club list & the 1001 Books You Must Read Before You Die
Continue with my 50 Bookish Things You Must Do Before You Die list and make any changes to the list if needed
Attend BEA, which I am fully planning on doing!

Bloggy Resolutions:

Redo my About page in January and reread it monthly
Start keeping better track of my stats on a monthly basis
Become a G+ pro and use the communities more actively
Video blog monthly
Create bookish craft DIYs 2x per month
Grab some more co-hosts for my Spread the Love Linky Party

Hopefully I’ll be just as good with my resolutions as I was last year. In 2013, I accomplished all of my resolutions, which I was kind of surprised about!

Your turn! Share one of your resolutions with me!

Guest Post: Jolina Petersheim, author of The Outcast, reveals her 2014 resolutions!

A few months ago, I had the pleasure of reading The Outcast by Jolina Petersheim. Fresh-faced and earnest, Jolina is the kind of woman that you just want to soak up her presence. She would be the person who give the advice to you in a moment of hard times- the advice that would be so poignant- and yet so simple. I eagerly await Jolina’s next book!

Jolina Petersheim 2014 Resolution

Over the past few weeks (and especially since I learned about this guest post), I’ve contemplated my resolutions for 2014.

I even thought about keeping a list in the kitchen, where I spend a majority of my time, but I never got around to writing them down until now:

Keep my computer, closet, and kitchen organized (i.e.: child-proof everything).
Send Christmas cards and/or photos (it takes a year for me to gear up).
Get up at six to write (unless Miss A is teething, then all bets are off).
Run in a 5-K with my sisters-in-law.
Have a weekly date with my daughter and husband (preferably on separate nights).

I will actually try to meet most of these resolutions (well, maybe not the Christmas cards . . . or the running bit).

But then I started thinking about when I’m so busy being busy, I miss out on the beauty of everyday life.

So, over the past few days, I have gone in the opposite direction and made an effort to be still.

Well, I have a toddler, so I haven’t been still as much as I have forced myself to embrace the moments not jotted down on my to-do list.

Yesterday, when my daughter put my fleece hat in my lap and then motioned for me to put it on my head, I obeyed, promptly bundled her up in her own hat, coat, and boots, and we went outside for a walk—going downhill together hand-in-hand.
When she dumped water over the edge of the tub—saturating the rug on the bathroom floor—I just rolled it up and continued sitting there, reading my book, until my daughter lifted her chubby little arms, letting me know that she wanted out.
On our daily walk, instead of just waving at my neighbor as he passed me on the road, I motioned for him to pull over, and we chatted about his grandkids and his health.
I stood outside, listening to the snow geese migrating north.
I read more books to my daughter; I read more books from my To-Be-Read pile, too!
I unplugged from the Internet for longer periods of time.
My daughter and I played with marigolds seeds—the flowers long having frozen in the garden.

All of these simple, exquisite moments would have been lost amid the hustle and bustle of everyday life if I hadn’t made an effort to go with the flow instead of fighting against the current—eager to reach my destination and check off another to-do from my New Year’s list.

Now, I also realize that life is going to resume its pace once the holidays are officially over. But I figure that if my main New Year’s Resolution is to be present in the moment, I will make more of an effort to enjoy life rather than trying to squeeze every second of productivity from the hours that I’ve been given.

What are some of your favorite ways to “waste” time?

If you enjoyed reading Jolina’s resolution, please visit her at her website and tell her!

What are your reading goals for 2014?

A new year, a new set of reading goals!

Reading Goals…. Ahh, my heart just beat a bit faster as I typed that! 2014 is a new year and you need new reading goals. Maybe you want to push yourselves- really strive hard to read as many books as you can. Maybe you already know this year is not going to be the year to make big goals- you might be experiencing a life challenge, or exciting news, or going back to school. It’s cool- the thing about reading goals is that you really aren’t competing against anyone- just you! So whatever the goal for 2014 whether it’s 12 books or 100+ books- set your goals! And tell me 🙂

Thoughts for 2014:

1. Do you want to participate in challenges?

Some people like them. Some don’t. I don’t hate them- but I try to not do so many- pick maybe 1 or 2.

2. Think of how many authors you know you’re going to want to read this year.

For example, I know that Denise Swanson will publish 2 books this year, Jen McKinlay will publish 2 or 3, Sarah Jio will publish at least 1, and on and on. So I know already there is at least 5 books that I want to read- after doing that, you may find out you already have quite a few books you plan to read in 2014.

3. Consider if you want to make room in your schedule for new to you authors.

During the year, you may find some new authors to you- maybe a book blogger is talking about a book, maybe your indie bookstore, maybe in some other way you hear about a book.

4. Don’t be afraid to readjust your goals and don’t beat yourself up if you don’t meet your goals.

Things happen. Life happens. Maybe you are busy. Maybe a reading slump. Just be ok with it!

Traveling With T’s Goals:

1. Read 125 books.

2. Read 10 new to me authors.

3. Make time for my favorite cozy series.

4. To give a book a chance but not to be afraid to DNF if I’m not enjoying.

5. To read at least 10 books that are already on my TBR list.

Let me know what your goals are AND how you are doing over the year!

Guest Post: Helen from My Novel Opinion talks about her 2014 resolutions

Today, I have Helen from My Novel Opinion stopping by to talk about her 2014 Resolutions! You might remember Helen from her being featured as a Blogger Made of AWESOME and her resolutions do not disappoint! Read on!

Helen’s 2014 Resolutions

Almost a month ago, I received an email from Tamara asking if I would like to take part in her New Year’s Resolution feature. All I needed to do was put together a post with some of my own resolutions, bookish or non-bookish, and send it back to her by December 30^th.

It’s now Christmas Eve and I’m just trying to come up with something. I figured that the best approach, and my usual one, was to just type and see what ends up on the page.

I don’t usually make New Year’s Resolutions, I feel that they are just there to be broken. If I do come up with one or two, it is always with good intentions. I go into the New Year all gung ho thinking, hoping, that this year will be different, this year will be the one where I manage to see my resolutions through to the end. And it always ends the same way…by Spring I have completely forgotten about them.

Some of the New Year’s Resolutions that I have made in the past are the usual suspects…eat healthier, lose weight, save more money, etc. Since I always break these – I love food that is bad for you, I lose weight but put it back on, and well money is there to be spent – I thought that I would share some bookish resolutions.

So for 2014 I resolve to:

Read at least 60 books (I managed 62 for 2013)
Read more non-fiction (I only read 2 in 2013)
Continue to discover new-to-me authors (I read books by 45 different authors in 2013, 37 of them new to me!)
Get back into sharing my thoughts and opinions on the books I read (I’ve let this slip in the last couple of months)
Read the books I have unread before adding more to my TBR (I was going to share the number but it’s a little embarrassing, let’s just say that it is more than I thought)
Stick to my blogging manifesto (I’ve been doing well with this since posting before Thanksgiving)

Thanks for reading, I’d love some encouragement as the year goes by!

Want to give Helen some encouragement? Stop by My Novel Opinion and do that!

River Road by Jayne Ann Krentz

Photo Credit: Goodreads

This book was sent to Traveling With T by Putnam Books.

River Road by Jayne Ann Krentz

13 years ago, Lucy Sullivan was saved from a night of horrors by a guardian angel, Mason Fletcher. Lucy, embarrassed about being taken away from the party- especially by the boy she has a crush on, is not aware of the near danger she was in. Mason, seeing Lucy as a kid, just knows he needed to save her from what evils were planned for the night. After Lucy is safe at home, Mason goes back to the party- where a confrontation with the ring-leader of danger, Tristan Brinker, happens. Within a few days of the party- Brinker is missing- presumed dead due to a drug deal gone bad.

13 years later, Lucy- grown up, more confident, and contented with her job as a forensic genealogist, returns to Summer River. Her return is about her Aunt Sara, who has recently died with her friend Mary in a car crash. Lucy and Mason see each other when she returns- and there is a spark- Lucy is not the kid she once was and Mason’s charms have developed with age nicely. The first night back in town for Lucy does not end well- she and Mason discover a body in the fireplace of Sara’s house- a fireplace that was shoddily covered up. Did Sara kill a man? And could this man be Brinker?

Lucy is determined to get to the bottom of the situation. And the deeper she digs, the more she finds out that everything has it’s roots in that night 13 years ago. With Mason’s help, Lucy is able to start putting pieces together- and even begins to question the car crash of Sara and Mary’s.

Danger, drugs, romance, suspense, and wine country- all combine to create a story that is fast paced and worth a read.

Traveling With T’s Thoughts:

This is my first Jayne Ann Krentz book- and I have to say that I really enjoyed it. With the roots of the story happening in a party in town- and secrets, sins and blackmail happening over a course of 13 years- most of the characters have a reason to be a suspect. Slowly, though, the reader begins to understand that there is more to the story than meets the eye. The romance between Lucy and Mason is enjoyable- and the mystery is also good.

If you are looking for a book with equal parts romance and suspense- I’m recommending Broken Road by Jayne Ann Krentz.

*This book was provided to Traveling With T by Putnam Books in exchange for a fair and honest review. All above thoughts and opinions are mine alone.

Giveaway: Wild Ones by Kristine Wyllys